I have been doing this whole book blogging thing for three and a half years now. Sometimes it seems like a lot longer, sometimes it seems like I started yesterday. But either way, I know that my attitudes and reactions and knowledge has changed so much over those years. And I started to think about what that evolution looks like. Were the changes drastic? Or was I pretty much the same blogger as I was back then? The answer, it seems, is the former. So I broke it down, and figured why not share? I like to share. (Hence the whole blogging thing, right?)
Newbie Shannon: “What are those? How does one obtain those? Why do I care?” (This is called “blissful ignorance.)
2 Year Old Shannon: “STATS. Need all the stats. Are they good enough? They have to be better!” Checks stats obsessively; cries over slight decrease. Forbids self from checking stats more often than once a week because it is causing excessive panic.
Shannon Today: Doesn’t even have the app on her phone anymore. Still gives declining stats the side-eye, but has a modicum of control over how much it ruins her day.
Newbie Shannon: “I shall type any and all thoughts into this large block of text. There is no rhyme or reason, so good luck, friends. Here, have a GIF! Or twenty.”
2 Year Old Shannon: “Is this review professional enough, if it is going to a publisher? Let’s make sure I sound like I have a clue what I am talking about. Non-review book? Here, have some more GIFs!”
And clearly, you still get a GIF. Some things never change, I guess?
Newbie Shannon: “Wait, don’t I just review books? Oh, I know, MEMES!”
2 Year Old Shannon: Has much to discuss from a couple years of experiencing new things. Writes like she’s running out of time.
Shannon Today: Already wrote about all the things. Is at a loss, because books haven’t exactly changed a whole lot. Spends endless amounts of time staring at bookshelves hoping for a lightbulb idea moment that never comes.
Newbie Shannon: This free Blogger design is fine, right?
2 Year Old Shannon: Wait, is this font okay? Does the color match with that other heading? Here, someone take ALL my money and make this look “professional”. And then I will just go ahead and overhaul it anyway, just to be sure. Can’t be too sure. Let’s change that background color to a slightly lighter shade of gray. Crap, now that font is a little too light. Back to square one!
Shannon Today: A redesign would be fun! Also, too lazy. (But will continue to swear that a redesign is coming. And no, I still am not 100% happy with the damn fonts.)
Newbie Shannon: “Wow, look, those bloggers got books that aren’t even out yet! That is so cool! They must be famous!”
2 Year Old Shannon: “I will never be good enough for the ARCs. Why am I not good enough for the ARCs? Someone for the love of all that is holy, please tell me how to be good enough for the ARCs?!”
Shannon Today: Still doesn’t understand how to be good enough for the ARCs, tbh. While a case of the sads still happens from time to time, she realizes that she has zero percent control over it. (This does not absolve her from the occasional “why am I not good enough?” meltdown, but it’s less frequent.)
Newbie Shannon: Creates blog/writes a post introducing it. Does not post again for three weeks. (To be fair, has a human being ripped from her abdomen in that span, and it spends some time in the NICU so….)
2 Year Old Shannon: Must. Post. Every. Day. All posts up by midnight. Without fail. This is NOT a drill.
Shannon Today: Three or four times a week is cool. Sometimes more. Sometimes less. Doesn’t think anyone cares, and it is far less stressful.
Newbie Shannon: Commenting on someone else’s blog? That is SCARY. Cannot handle.
2 Year Old Shannon: Comment on all the blogs of ever. Reply to all comments every day. Comment back on every comment, no matter what. Never sleep.
Shannon Today: Tries to comment back as much as possible. Always tries to visit her faves. Replies when she can. Less cranky.
Newbie Shannon: Knows no one. Too scared to reach out to anyone. Stays hidden and types into the void.
2 Year Old Shannon: Other bloggers seem so fun! Hopes one day to have blogger friends that she can meet for realsies.
So, what is the bottom line here? I think I may have finally succeeded in calming down, actually! This was a successful and healthy little exercise!