I am incredibly honored today to have Sanovia from Creatyve Books on the blog today discussing a topic that is near to her heart, and also so, so important. I don’t even have words to do this post justice, so I am going to defer to Sanovia’s emotional, and incredibly powerful post!
Sanovia’s Post
Let me tell you a story.
This is the story about a black girl in her senior year of High School, who just stopped going to school. A story about a black girl who would wake up in the mornings, drenched in sweat and panic in her eyes. This is the story about a black girl who had to give herself prep talks daily in the mirror—telling herself that everything will be alright. That this feeling of helplessness and despair will go away. That this urge to hide and cry every 5 seconds is just hormones out of whack.
Let me tell you the story about a black girl who thought her irrational fears of the outside was her mind playing tricks on her. A phase that would pass in due time. That, maybe if she would pray to whichever gods, they would fix her troubled mind. To make this hurt and pain go away. That these gods would make her mother understand what was going on, instead of yelling at her in anger and frustration because she was skipping school and locking herself away in her room from the outside world and her loved ones.
This is the story of a black girl whose mother was fed up with her “shenanigans” and “excuses”, so she decided to kick her out. Because if you’re not working to help pay these bills, your ass better at least be in school in order to live under my roof.
Like many that might have been in a similar situation like this black girl, she found herself at wit’s end. Contemplating suicide with that bottle of pills and vodka because no one seemed to understand what was going on. Not even herself.
This is my story and my struggle to this day dealing with depression and the many side effects that come with it. From panic attacks, to anxiety, to anguish and hopelessness. This is my story and how I have to take one day at a time. Even when some of those days are just dark and dreary.
This is my story of how mental illness in the black community is looked down upon. Something that need to not be seen or heard. How more often than not it goes unreported, because these “problems” can be prayed away. These overwhelming feelings that are plaguing your daily life is nothing more than stress or simply the struggles of being a black woman.
Just go to church or have a chat with Jesus and everything will be alright. He will fix it. He will fix you. All you have to do is pray.
Well this is me telling you that it’s alright to seek professional help. To talk to someone. To take that medicine if it means that you will live a better and fulfilled life. There is no shame. There is no shame. There is NO SHAME.
Let’s stop with the stigmatization of mental illness because people are dying. People are dying in the black community because just like with sexual abuse or domestic abuse, it’s a topic that should not be discussed outside these four walls known as your home.
This has to stop. There needs to be more open dialogue within this community because there is only two ways for this to go. Dead or in jail. And let’s be real, cops are not equipped to handle someone with mental illness. We’ve seen it time and time again what can happen. But that topic is for someone well versed on that subject and it’s obviously not me.
But I do want to say that I hope that the US gets its act together and fund the mental health department properly. There are too many Veterans, homeless people and people in general that need the help. This is a crisis that need to be dealt with same energy and compassion that goes into funding, treating and finding a cure for Cancer, AIDS, ALS…you name it. Something has to be done.
Now before I go I want to say that my mother did get me help after I had a breakdown and she knew that this was more than me being rebellious. That something was truly wrong. Once that happen and she understood the full scope of things, my mother apologized to me. I for one do not blame my mother. She was working hard and had two other kids to deal with along with her own shit. I just glad that I’m here to share my story with you today. Cause there was a time when I thought it would all end. Those feelings are still there but I’m equipped to deal with those irrational feelings.
One last thing, with me going through all that, years later it helped my mother to seek professional care immediately after dealing with the complications of battling cancer instead of wallowing in her own despair. So I want to remind you that there is NO SHAME.
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So, I think we can all agree that Sanovia has so, so many amazing points here. What is one of the biggest problems when it comes to mental health resources/stigmas in your community? If you had the chance, what is the first thing you’d fix?
And a huge, huge thank you to Sanovia for sharing this fabulous post with us!! Leave her tons of love 😀
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Fantastic post! I’m lucky to have my mom in my life. She might not understand all that I went through – especially when I was younger -but she was okay with visiting a doctor and me getting help. That’s not true for a lot of people though, and it’s awful. Thanks for sharing your story and I DO hope that the U.S. will do more to help with mental illness. It’s a growing problem and there needs to be more understanding and less stigma attached.
The US definitely needs more affordable care for people with mental illnesses. If you want any type of therapy in the area of the country where I live, you either need really good insurance, or you’ll have to pay $100 an hour. People can’t afford that, so it’s hard to get help with managing mental illnesses. A lot of people are left to figure out what’s going on with them on their own.
Live can be tough. We should be able to talk about this publicly more often. I hate that there seems to be some kind of thing against talking about mental problems or issues that are not physical. Thank you for sharing your story.
Wow. You shared such an amazing story. I’ve never had depression or any mental health stuff (But I’ve never gone and checked.) I’m so sorry you had to go through that. But it seems like it’s getting better. Telling your story must have been tough. But you did it. Congrats.
Thanks.
Oh I’m really really glad you’re here to share your story, Sanovia. It’s really encouraging and inspiring. And you wrote it so beautifully. Thankyou for this!
Ah, Savonia, I love this post! You’ve touched on a lot of what I’ve seen talked abutted in the black community regarding mental health and therapy. I actual have one article to link – http://thetempest.co/2016/07/18/culture-taste/culture/i-dont-need-to-pray-about-it-i-need-to-go-to-therapy/
As well as a tweet thread – https://twitter.com/CandiceAmanda/status/762707309575311361
Your post along with that thread and article are SO spot on. This is a huge issue.
I think you’re talking about something that’s really important and NEEDS to be spotlighted more. Certain cultures and communities don’t look at therapy as they should.
It’s really so hard to even get help, there are so many factors: Culture (and the possible stigma), Money (a lot of low-income families couldn’t afford it), etc. It’s awful.
I think it’s great that you’re getting help and that your mom is slowly learning to understand you. I’m glad your mom also sought help when she needed it. There’s definitely no shame in it. Great piece!
Thank you for sharing this. I am glad you got help, and that you are advocating for change.
Thanks for sharing. I’m glad you got help and I’m glad your mother came around. Getting help can be so hard because of the stigmas our world has. Glad you were able to get help and treatment.
Wow, great post to both of you. So lovely of you Shannon for putting this event together. I can’t even imagine what it is like to have so much anxity. I used to have some when I was younger so I hated high school because of it, but in the last 5 years or so I have really grown out of it and really learned to be more comfortable and happy with myself. I don’t there is anything wrong at all with medication. Good for you!
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Wow, thank you SO MUCH for your post Sanovia! I am so glad that you were eventually able to get the help that you needed and I am so glad your mother apologized for what she did. I hate there is such a stigma around mental illness and I agree that more needs to be done. There needs to be better funding for mental health and it needs to be taken just as seriously as someone’s physical health. Thanks again for your post!
Mental illness is something that is already stigmatized, so it must be so difficult to live in a cultural community that pushes it even further into the dusty corners and tries to hide it. As a Christian, I do believe that prayer can help when we’re feeling overwhelmed, but it is no substitute for mental health care. There are plenty of Christian counseling and medical professionals who can help people find a balance between these two things. (I went to a Christian counselor after we adopted my youngest and I was feeling extremely overwhelmed and depressed – faith and medical help do NOT have to be at odds with each other!). I’m glad you found a path toward healing, and you’re absolutely right that awareness is so important – people need to stop ignoring mental health issues and hiding from the reality that so many people are facing.
Thank you Shannon for letting me be part of this important event and thanks to all that have read my story. This was hard and such an emotional journey to get this written. Believe me when I say that it took many tries just to feel comfortable with sharing my story. So your feed back to my story is greatly appreciated. I can’t thank you enough.