Hello friends! Back with a creative lull and lots of covers that require discussion!
Feel free to check out my other creative-slump-inspired lovely posts about unfortunate covers. And hey, one of these days, maybe I will actually post a real discussion or something. Stay tuned for that miracle-in-the-making!
Top Row L-R: Chinese, Estonian, UK
Bottom Row L-R: Bulgarian, Hungarian, Japanese, Polish.
True story: I was going to do Pretties and Specials, but there were so many terrible covers for Pretties that I ran out of room. Honestly these covers are tragic as a whole. Even the new covers for Impostor are kind of meh. Look, I get that back in the day cover design wasn’t as big of a deal, because technology, but this series is pretty famous, let’s get it together everyone. Anyway, the covers!
So there is another edition that uses the doll concept, but the Chinese cover gods had to go ahead and use a doll with eyes that will steal your soul, so they win. I don’t even know what the Estonians are doing- is that kid dead? Why is his head coming out of paper? Look, your guess is as good as mine, but I don’t recall any “death by paper” in book 2, so. I guess the UK version is trying to be clever, but the concept of the book is being attractive, not sticking eyeballs on your chest, so that’s a swing and miss.
The Bulgarian cover is just… I don’t know why there’s a large headed woman with all the bangles. And I assume those kids are supposed to be on hoverboards but they look like they’re surfing on large guitars, so. I suppose the Hungarian folks were trying to take a stab at the Shatter Me series covers, but a creepy eye with clearly Photoshopped sparkles is a mediocre attempt at best. At first glance, the Japanese cover seems kind of well-designed. Until I took a second look and realized that it looks like that much older bald dude assaulted that young woman? Or wants to? Idk but either way I am creeped out. Ah, the Polish “designers”, saving the most ridiculous for last. Is she… is she holding her own brain? I am at a loss, friends.
L-R: Half Bad Armenian 1, Half Bad Armenian 2, Half Wild Swedish, Half Wild Chinese
Wow, slow claps for Armenia. Twice in one book, impressive! And talk about different takes! I suppose the First Armenian should be called Half Collarbone, for reasons that apparently make sense to those guys. And the second Armenian… I honestly don’t even understand what it is supposed to be? Can anyone explain the inexplicable? The Swedish cover peeps are going to get calls from PETA because it looks like that wolf is bleeding from the mouth. Unconvincingly, since the wolf is real and the blood is clearly Photopshopped but alas. And I feel the Chinese one, because I too leave my dead girl and my wolf under waterfalls sometimes. Oopsie.
Unravel Me L-R: Australian, Swedish, English ebook, Czech
Ignite Me L-R: French, Australian, Chinese, Turkish
I don’t need to explain why the Australian Unravel Me sucks, right? Honest to god, I have no idea which body parts are on the Swedish cover, but I worry I shouldn’t be looking at it? We can obviously see the vibe they’re after in the English ebook (unknown publisher). I swear I read this book and it isn’t erotica, but ::shrugs:: I basically need a few minutes to process the Czech cover. Like- it maybe wouldn’t be so bad if it didn’t look like a hologram was about to die? Though the font isn’t helping either.
The French people clearly did not bother to read Ignite Me, as it isn’t set in a 1919 silent film. The Australians are really hitting it out of the park here- they somehow managed to out-crappy themselves. While the Chinese attempt probably isn’t the worst, it is a blatant ripoff of The Hunger Games with the added bonus of a random nude lady. And the Turkish were deceived by the English ebook cover and thought this was some kind of steamy sexy time book. Homework, people.
Through the Ever Night by Veronica Rossi
Top L-R: Hebrew, Greek, French, Dutch
I will never, ever get over this giant chicken in the Hebrew Edition. Of course, the plot of this book is obviously “lady deity looking upon her empty forest”, nailed it Greek guys. For the love of all things holy, can we please get the French designers to read a book every now and then? Repeat after me, dystopian, not Harlequin mass market romance. And why the Germans insist on putting this young lad’s head inside a purple flower of sorts… well your guess is as good as mine.
Scarlet & Cress by Marissa Meyer
Scarlet L-R: Thai, Bulgarian, Georgian
Cress L-R: Swedish, Chinese, Bulgarian
Honestly I am just salty that the Thai cover chose to highlight her midriff and boobs instead of anything having to do with the actual story. The Bulgarian Scarlet isn’t aesthetically displeasing, it’s that the fucking doll is going to haunt the shit out of me. Speaking of haunting the shit out of me, thanks Georgian people for that nightmare. Like okay, empty woods where a human being should be, cool, cool.
I don’t know when the last time is I was so disturbed by a doll, Swedish cover gods, and that is saying a lot because have you seen this post? Make everything about this cover go away, please and thank you. The Chinese cover does a bang up job of flying a tiny spaceship into a large head, if that’s what they were going for they nailed it. And look. The Bulgarian Cress isn’t terrible, it’s just that if the god forsaken doll turns around, you know she’s going to look like the Scarlet bitch too.
And some lovely gems, because let’s be positive woooo! (And also as an eye cleanser.)
Also these aren’t all sequels because it was actually really hard to find sequels but they’re all in series at least!
Hope that one or two of these cleansed the ol’ palate after some of the loveliness above ? Good news- I have even more good (and bad, let’s be real) covers waiting!