Welcome, welcome! In case you missed last week’s recap, here you go!
Now, if you recall, unlike in book reviews, we do not mind spoiling the hell out of the show, so turn back now if you don’t want to know any of the things! This has been your warning!
OH and while it may be obvious that I don’t like, hang around taking still photos from the show’s set, these pictures aren’t mine, of course. They’re from, you know, the show. But I make my own GIFs, so YAY!! (This was the whole season in the making, so color me excited!)
Now, let’s do this! Episodes 3×15 & 3×16: Perverse Instantiation Parts 1 and 2
It’s finale time! Look who’s making her own GIFs again! That’s right, lil ol’ me. I gave PhotoShop a try, but when you have a super old version… well, it didn’t work. Maybe next season. I just used programs like “free shit from the internet”. Which aren’t their real names, but I am okay with it.
Also, I might have watched Part 1 when I had gotten home from BEA. At 5:30 in the morning. While eating airport popcorn. So if I missed stuff… well, let’s just assume I missed stuff, mmmkay?
3×15: Perverse Instantiation Part One
This was basically a set-up for part two. Like.. not much happened that we didn’t kind of expect. Things like:
Jasper’s Chipped, Y’all!
Look, I knew this before I watched the episode. Because while drinking wine at BEA, I guessed it, and my cohort in drinking and 100-ing, Sabrina, told me I was right. And we find this out in like, minute two of the episode. Plus, please raise your hand if you were even mildly shocked that Jasper would be the asshat to take the chip just for funsies? No one? Didn’t think so.
So of course ALIE sends someone to the exact location to take down Clarke. And she gets saved, because this guy shows up:
Roan’s hanging out in the woods because… reasons.
Anyway, Bellamy shoots him to make sure he isn’t chipped. I am sure there would have been easier ways, but I am so sick of the ALIE story that if Bellamy wants to shoot everyone, fine. I don’t care anymore. So a plan is hatched to find Ontari in Polis. And I have to say, the dialogue is, again, quite stunted. They need to pick it up in Season 4. Anyway, no one likes the plan from the start, but shit isn’t going great so… limited options and such.
When Jasper’s like “hold up, this is stupid”, you know it’s stupid.
But alas, there isn’t a plan B, so off these rascals go to Polis, with a fairly half-assed plan to chip the hell out of Ontari. But back at Arkadia, ALIE is making sure that Jasper puts the kibosh on Raven’s plans. Which of course, means stabbing your bestie. As you do.
Polis Goes Awry
So the plan was basically for Roan to pretend he was holding Clarke prisoner, and then demand to see Ontari with the flame, figuring ALIE would try to get it from him or… something. Meanwhile the Blakes and the Millers (because I still don’t know Miller’s boyfriend’s name, let’s just pretend they’re the Millers) were going to be guarding from a tunnel. Because there’s nothing like setting yourself up as prey in a confined space. Well, that lasted about 2 seconds, because Jasper was there and knew the plan. So Jaha comes out and is all “Really guys? This is your grand scheme?”, and while I hate agreeing with Jaha…. yeah. So he gets ready to attack. But then Roan remembers that they have something ALIE needs!
So, Clarke gets hauled off, but not before the Blakes and Millers nearly meet their doom in the aforementioned tunnel. But lucky for them, the Three Musketeers show up just in time- much to everyone’s amazement.
And while there were some weak moments with the dialogue, Murphy’s was on point at every turn. Maybe it’s because whoever writes Murphy’s lines is awesome, maybe it is because Richard Harmon can do no wrong, or a combination. I digress. We needed lines like this:
Have truer words ever been spoken?
Anyway, I was pretty tired at this point, and all I really know about “The Plan” is that a pissed off Octavia gets to help Pike and Indra turn some weird wheel while Bellamy and Murphy scale the elevator to get to Clarke. Who, as it turns out, is not having Super Happy Fun Time in the uhh throne room? Does that place have a name? ::Shrugs::
Upstairs in Throne World…
Some chipped folks drag Clarke up to Ontari, I suppose in hopes of throwing the flame into her chipped head. But first, they need the password. Which only Clarke knows. So they try the good old fashioned “Mom stabs daughter” routine. When that doesn’t work, Abby figures she’ll just have them torture Bellamy. Only they realize that Bellamy escaped, so Abby has to resort to hanging herself. Yep. That happens. But there’s going to be enough gore, plus that is super triggering, so we’ll leave that out. Anyway. ALIE realizes that Murphamy will be upon them imminently. And she doesn’t approve.
Do we want to know what this could mean?
Nope. And this is the least awful I could make it seem.
But alas, Murphamy come in, Bell takes out Jaha (not forever, sadly) and Murphy saves Abby, but alas, Ontari is brain dead. So that leaves us in a very tough spot for the finale, no?
3×16: Perverse Instantiation Part Two
Was this as emotionally high stakes as the Season 2 finale? Nope. Not even almost, really. But that’s okay! And I will explain why later.
An ALIE-less Polis Throne Room
Clarke de-chips Abby with a wristband or something, I don’t really know, my DVR missed the first couple seconds, so now it’s just just the Griffin girls and Murphamy trying to figure out how to (or even if they can) save everyone, or if it’s just game over. It’s nice having ALIE involved elsewhere for a change. I look forward to all the ALIE-less moments, don’t you?
So Clarke decides that the only way to activate the kill switch is by going into the CoL. But wait! What about the whole brain-turns-to-goo dilemma? Well, if she learned nothing else from Mount Weather, she learned how to steal all of someone’s blood. And since Ontari is brain dead but not dead-dead… she’s a candidate! Thanks, Old Man Weather 😉 But alas, not everyone is in love with this plan.
And Abby is over there like “oh hell no”. But one person does trust our dear Clarke..
Abby’s face looks like she wants to murder him, too.
And then all the Bellarkians in the world swoon for days-
In the City of Light
So Clarke is in The CoL. It’s basically… New York. Or any city. And people are walking around in their weird little preppy outfits, doing all kinds of random shit.
Case in point: Jasper, sitting on a bench eating ice cream.
At first, people can’t see Clarke, so that’s a bit of good news! Until it isn’t anymore, and ALIE’s minions are sent to destroy her. Or whatever. And just when she’s about to be sliced and diced by an angry, well-dressed, ice cream eating mob, who shows up to save the day?
So Lexa spends a few minutes kicking ass, and then Clarke starts to get weak and Lexa basically drags her around CoL for awhile while Abby and Murphamy try to figure out why Ontari’s blood isn’t going into Clarke fast enough. Apparently, that is causing the weakness and also they needed to fill a few minutes and make Alycia’s return worth her while. I get it. Anyway, they come up with… this. There are no damn words.
I am so glad that you can tell it’s plastic or I would have been sick for real.
So Clarke gets back on her feet, and while Jasper feebly tries to convince her to just join them for dessert and J. Crew in the CoL, Raven is busily trying to give Clarke clues to where to find the kill switch. And because she’s Raven, she nails it.
Good thing Clarke knows her birds?
Then Clarke has to go, to use the kill switch and such. Only.. what about Lexa? It’s so bittersweet, but I loved it anyway.
(No YOU messed up the GIF.)
So Lexa goes off to fend of the minions, and Clarke goes into the… well I don’t know, wherever she is, and finds Becca, glad she’s come to get the kill switch business taken care of. But wait! ALIE is not giving up that easily. ALIE tells Clarke some shenanigans about how the world is basically going to be all but decimated in six months’ time. And she and Becca go back and forth for awhile about what the “right” thing is. I love watching a machine and its creator fight ?
ALIE’s face here makes me chuckle every time.
Anyway, while these two bicker, and Clarke hesitates to push the damn button, things aren’t going great at Polis. The masses finally broke through, and are attacking- of course they want to disconnect Clarke from the Nightblood, and kill her so ALIE will be saved. So it’s getting ugly.
And the whole time, I am yelling at my TV “Damn it Clarke, pull the freaking lever already!”
So there’s only seconds left, which Becca so helpfully counts for us as Clarke bickers with ALIE.
WOOT. As if there was ever going to be another outcome.
Of course, everyone at Polis gets thrown right out of the City of Light. And they’re horrified to recall what they have done. And now everyone has to deal with the aftermath. Some of these reunions give me the weepies. Like Memori, Kabby!
Awww! And then these Jonty feels:
But Clarke is still completely shell-shocked. Because she now knows what none of the rest of them do- they’re facing some dire straights.
And then, because the season couldn’t just end with Bellamy getting that bombshell delivered… this happens:
I cried. While I understand that O is in pain and that Pike would have had to have been punished… he did just save Octavia multiple times all while helping to save the human race so… this was not how I would have wanted it to end. Plus, couldn’t she have stabbed Jaha instead?
Some final thoughts:
- I love the setup for next season. Actual real things that could happen to the earth? Yes please!!! And the thought of people actually joining together for the greater good is freaking epic.
- I like that Clarke got more time with Lexa. I feel like everything was such a whirlwind in Polis, I am glad that she really got some “closure”- not that you can get closure from a loved one’s death, but perhaps “peace” is a better word? Anyway, I think it was fitting.
- Also, when Lexa told Clarke “I told you my spirit would choose wisely”, I nearly started clapping.
- I found Octavia’s actions out of character… but I also think that’s why it happened. She’s basically going to break, I think.
- We all have probably suspected that the original ending was for Jasper to kill himself, and I am so, so glad that they didn’t take that route. While I think it would have been realistic (and in line with Jasper’s character, sadly), I want hope for him. I think everyone does.
- Bellarke. Just… yes.