Copy of Book (2)

I… am at a loss for words. I didn’t know how to start this post even, so I turned to my lovely friends for procrastination purposes. And I told them about my troubles. It went like this:

SHANNON: I am trying to put together a book-to-movie review about Allegiant and I… I don’t even know.

VALERIE: Just say it sucked. 👍

SHANNON: Oh but Val, it so much MORE than sucked. It sullies the good name of Sucked.

So there you have it. I’m not even sure that I read the same book as the people who wrote the movie. And I am fairly certain that the people who put this together were several teenaged boys who really enjoy special effects and wasting millions of dollars. I don’t know where to begin. The good and bad? Sure!

Sidenote: I have no actual idea if this contains spoilers (probably a little?) because none of it is the same, so I don’t know what to tell you, proceed with caution, and the knowledge that I have no idea what just happened.

The Stuff I Liked:

Because who doesn’t like to start with those, amirite? Great.

  • I had no idea that Bill Skarsgård  was in this movie. You remember how I used him in my dream cast thing the other day, because I find him pretty? Yes. Well, I still do. And I liked him in this movie as Matthew.
  • Miles Teller was hilarious and necessary. He can be in any movie ever, okay? I have decided.
  • Johanna was BAD. ASS. And I loved it. I loved her in the books, and I love her in the movies, and I love Octavia Spencer in general, so more of her please.
  • And to be completely honest, if I hadn’t known anything about the book or characters or world, it might not have been bad. I mean, it was never going to win an Oscar, but it was entertaining. 
What… Even…. Was That?

So it starts off in Chicago, in some crappy hellhole where the people are having a big old screaming match meeting. And I didn’t even get to the five minute mark without a dose of What is going on here? and Who the hell is this guy? 

No seriously, who is this guy? Don’t worry, he’s like a damn cat with nine lives, he’ll be back around.

Then they’re going to have to get to the other side of the wall, and I think “ah, okay, here’s some junk I know about!”

Nevermind.

And they cross the other side and land on Mars! (It looks like actual Mars, I assume.) But… how are only some spots apocalyptic wastelands and like, 4 feet away are normal places? That doesn’t make any sense!

They seem to agree, no?

Then it just gets flat out ridiculous. It starts raining red, which- Catching Fire called and it wants its Blood Rain Zone back. What even!? I swear if I see one Jabberjay… 

Christina understands where I am coming from, clearly.

So without getting too spoilery, I shall list a few ridiculous things along the way:

  • People walking away from fiery motor vehicle and plane crashes with minor lacerations and/or an on-again off-again limp.
  • Some kind of invisible, locked wall that makes no actual sense to me and was never, ever explained. 
  • Some place called “Providence”. Seriously, that isn’t a “thing”, right? I am not just blanking on entire sections of this book? Who even knows anymore.
  • Small discs that help you catch bad guys. But.. how does it know who the bad guys are? Why is this whole place a wasteland if they have this kind of technology? Nothing makes sense in my life anymore. 
  • Whatever the actual fuck these bubble-things are:
  • This is David, and my creepometer is through the freaking roof.
  • A pajama party at the airport! This picture doesn’t even really do it justice, they looked like legit pajamas in the movie.
  • And Four gets to remove his jammies ASAP because I think Theo James has a clause in his contract about time spent wearing tight black t-shirts or something… he’s like the Simon Cowell for a new generation. 
  • None of the plot of the actual book. I mean, this is as non-spoilery as I can get, so… yeah, that’s all I’ve got. If it was a pivotal moment in one… it’s probably not showing up in the other. But hey- maybe movie ending will be better, albeit far more ridiculous? A girl can dream….

The Verdict: Look, this was a mess, but I’ll be damned if it wasn’t better than Insurgent! Yeah, it’s unbelievable and weird and stuff, but at least it isn’t mind-numbingly boring. And Tris and Four are actually more likeable than book-Allegiant Tris and Four (I hated those guys).

Have you read the book or seen the movie? Are you a fan of either? Afraid of either? (I understand. I do.)

Posted April 15, 2016 by Shannon @ It Starts at Midnight in Bookish Movie / 50 Comments


50 responses to “Bookish Movie Review: Allegiant

  1. I have done both and I must admit I was highly upset that the movie was nothing like the book. I thought maybe I had lost my mind, but now I know I hadn’t. I was not happy with the movie at all. It was rather boring to me.
    The book was alright though…not my favorite book or series, but ok.

    • The movie was seriously NOTHING like the book, I agree! I kind of figured it wouldn’t be, only because like, how would they make two movies out of that book, but still. I think it was almost entertaining BECAUSE I had no idea what they were doing, if that makes sense? Don’t get me wrong, it was still a complete mess 😉

  2. THIS MADE ME LAUGH SO MUCH OMG SHANNON. 😂 YOU ARE THE GREATEST, THAT IS ALL, IT IS UNDENIABLE. Ahem. Anyway. While I’m monstrously protective over the books because I love them so…I actually spent 3/4 of Insurgent LAUGHING because it was so freaking ridiculous. I didn’t mind Divergent??? But nopity no to Insurgent. So I might watch Allegiant? But idek. Life is short. I could be baking a cake.
    I think when you’re as pretty as Theo James you get to do whatever you want. *nods*
    And I’m pretty sure we can all agree that Tris is the LEAST interesting person in the cast??? *sighs*
    Cait @ Paper Fury offers us this fabulous post…Why You Want To Read The Winner’s Kiss (Also It’s Extraordinary) (Also #BlogTour) (Also Trilogy #Giveaway)

    • YESSS Tris is the least interesting by FAR. I probably could have made a collage of “Shailene/Tris faces” like I did with Chloe Grace Moretz in The Fifth Wave but… we all know Shailene as Tris is a terrible choice, and frankly, I am still salty that no one asked me 😂

      So, what you should do, so you don’t miss out on the cake of course, is wait until it comes out on like, DVD or digital or whatever and then watch it WHILE baking a cake. Theo James + Cake + the ability to not watch Tris = Success!

  3. “he’s like the Simon Cowell for a new generation.” – EXCUSE ME WHILE I DIE OF LAUGHTER! XD This was such a funny, excellent post, Shannon! I’ve never really thought the Divergent movies were that great. I mean, as movies they’re okay but if I compare them to the books…no, just no. I absolutely love the books so I was really hoping the movies would do the books justice but I agree that the special effects were used way too much in the movies. I haven’t seen Allegiant yet but judging by the trailer I don’t think I’m going to enjoy it much. >.<

    • Aww thank you!! ♥ The movies have all pretty much sucked. I think that I don’t expect much anymore, so I am not that disappointed? I loved the first two books LOT. Allegiant… blech. The movie was bad, but at least in a way that could entertain me, so I guess there’s that? 😂

  4. Blanca MR

    To be honest I didn’t like the book one bit, the main characters were annoying and it was stupid to just get out of the wall walk 3 steps and people to be just there. I think that the screen writers saw the flaws in the plot and decided to change it so the plot made a little more sense than it did in the book. I still need to watch it but I am not really expecting much since I watched the first movie. Does anyone else thought Allegiant (book) plot was a little more like The Maze Runner and less than Divergent?

    • UGHHH I FEEL YOU! I hated the book. SO MUCH. Like, it didn’t make any sense! I know everyone was mad about how it ended, but I flat out hated the whole thing! And yes, I think you’re right about the screen writers- I mean, they did not have much to work with, especially for TWO movies, so they needed to fill those holes. And YES- it does have a Maze Runner-esque feel to it. Definitely NOT Divergent!

  5. I don’t even know what to say about these movies…. They’re such a mess. My friends who already read the book rant at me, and my friends who haven’t read the book keep asking me “what is that” “what is happening” and stuffs like that. It’s hilariously bad I can’t. And there will be 4th movie??? I just… I don’t know why Veronica Roth let them ruin her books…. 🙁
    Tasya offers us this fabulous post…Review Anthology #2: The Grisha Series Novella

    • Hahha I totally agree with you, they ARE a mess. I mean, half the characters don’t even exist! And the plot is completely different. My mom kept whispering “that can’t be what happened in the book, right?” hahha. She read the first two, but I told her not to bother with Allegiant 😉 I know, it must be so hard for authors to watch. Like, I am sure she had to sign the releases and everything before the screenplay was written? That is the only way it makes sense!

  6. Jamie

    I completely agree with your review. My friend and I kept looking at each other like “WTH is going on?”. This might have been one of my least favorite book adaptations EVER. And where the f*** was Uriah?!

  7. Well I have to say, I adored Divergent but liked Insurgent less and Allegiant basically ruined the series for me…so I haven’t even seen one of the films! The previews for the movies just don’t even seem like their faithful to the books and from what you said here, my first impression was right! I might check them out sometime, just for fun but my hopes aren’t high! Sorry this was such a letdown for you *hugs*
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  8. I WASN’T THE ONLY ONE!! I tried writing a review for this movie but it was impossible. I just wanted to write READ THE BOOK. DO NOT WATCH THE MOVIE AT ALL! I just… No! They changed everything. Like you, I was so confused, thinking that maybe it was me that had forgotten the whole book but geez! I cannot even! I figured things would change due to the second part of Allegiant has a new name (because I had no idea Veronica Roth published Ascendant..seriously, where’s that book *rolls eyes*). But man, they really changed everything. I have no hopes for Ascendant. None! I wouldn’t be surprised if they change that ending… I don’t want that ending to change! I know it’s sad but it needs to stay!
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    • Hhahahhaha basically! Or I mean, watch the movie, but pretend that it has nothing to do with the book because… well, it doesn’t! 😂

      Ascendant. Come on now. I fully expect Tris to turn into a cyborg, and Four to like, launch himself onto Mars before Caleb sends the whole group into a nuclear apocalypse. That’s how the book went, right?

      (Confession- I would LOVE the ending to change. But that’s just me 😉 )

  9. Ugh. I could tell from the moment I saw the trailer that it wasn’t going to be anything like the books, and so I haven’t seen it yet. Is it a good movie if they hadn’t named it Allegiant, or does it still not make any sense?

    • I mean, it was not completely awful if you weren’t basing it on the book. But it also couldn’t be a standalone, you’d have had to know about the first two movies, which were also nothing like the book 😂 Basically, it should be treated as a whole separate series with two people who happen to be named Tris and Four? 😉

  10. “It so much MORE than sucked. It sullies the good name of Sucked.” 😂 This review is great Shannon – I’m laughing so hard. Probably better than the movie I’m guessing. 😉

    I wasn’t much of a fan of the book, which was why I haven’t seen the movie yet, but it sounds like that was a good choice on my part. Thanks for sharing this Shannon, and for warning / saving us all!
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  11. Ahhh, I just don’t think I can watch this one. I loved the books and even if the movie is a bit entertaining, I just can’t watch all the ways they ruined the book. I know the books are always better, but come on. This is just crazy.
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  12. It sucked. I saw it too and was so… I don’t know, meh? that I didn’t even do a review. lol. You are so right though- Mars, blood rain. The bubble things… I normally get miffed if an adaptation deviates TOO much (of course they have to deviate some), but this- off the charts. I couldn’t be mad though it was so silly. At least the popcorn was good. Mmm yummy salty popcorn…
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    • Hahhaha I don’t blame you, the only reason I did one was so that it seemed worth my time- and the $18 I spent for my mom and I to see it- I guess! And yes, it is worth it for the popcorn. I think I will go see all the crappy adaptations for the popcorn, and then review them to justify it 😉

  13. What the actual fuck. This looks absolutely NOTHING like the book! I mean blood rain and weird bubbles and disc things, what the fuck? I mean it looks absolutely ridiculous. I already hated the Insurgent movie and already vowed myself off these movies because of the stupid special effects but this actually looks a lot worse. Thanks for the review girls!
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  14. HAHAHAHHA THE HELL IS ALL THIS

    I mean I haven’t even WATCHED or READ any of this series (except the first movie), and this just looks fantastically overdone and dumb. I will take your word and not ever watch the movies.

  15. Are they seriously making the second part of this movie??? Like can’t they just let it die somewhat gracefully???
    I saw the first movie, liked it okay, had no interest in the second movie once i saw the preview and recognized NOTHING!
    And yeah, I hated Tris in the book! I din’t even bother reading book three, even before I knew of the ending.

    • Hahhaha you’d think, but no, they have millions more dollars to waste apparently 😉 The second movie was even worse than this I think. I mean, not stupider, but like, more boring? Movie Tris is worse than book Tris, so you;’d extra hate her 😂

  16. I just… no. I can’t. I didn’t go see it at the theater and most likely won’t (assuming it’s even still playing anymore?). The Husband and I saw the previews and were both like WTF? He read the books so he gets it. And neither of us had a shred of interest. Our take from the previews was that the dystopian somehow got turned into a freaking sci-fi? Whatevs. For shame Veronica Roth, for shame. Ugh.
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    • Hahahha first of all, your husband is awesome for reading the books! Second… yeah, it’s a hot mess. All the movies were really. I figure Veronica is probably none too pleased, but her bank account probably is. What can she say at this point, I am sure she signed away the rights 🙁 Guess they all can’t be Hunger Games 😉

  17. I had listened to the book a long time ago. I love the series. Even though there was some major differences, I think they did good job with it. I am going to see the next movie. I think they did a better job than the people that made the second Maze Runner movie.

  18. HAHA YES! THE BUBBLES!
    This review sounds pretty much the same as mine…it was too much CGI and not enough anything else.
    And Miles Teller was great as Peter.
    And Four changing out of the white clothes faster than anyone else? I thought that was rather funny.
    Also, Tris magically changed clothes while walking to the weird fancy glass circling elevator thing.
    And WHERE did Tris learn to walk in high heels?
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    • OH I did not see your review (because I am like, seven years behind in comments) but I am off to read it now! Miles Teller WAS awesome. And GOOD CALL about the heels! I hadn’t thought of that, but you are SO right! They did adapt to that airport life pretty quickly all around, didn’t they?

  19. I’m cry-laughing right now. I refused to see the first movie because the well, the casting choices were so, so bad IMO. And it didn’t look promising. But then this? I don’t recognise any of this! Any of this from the book. And umm, what the hell is up with the mars setting? So weird. And unnecessary. I cannot believe there’s going to be another part. It’s going to be a disaster… Great review, Shannon. And thanks for taking a bullet for us. None of us are going to be watching this now!

    • UGH the casting choices were the WORST. The worst! Theo James is MY AGE. And spoiler, I am not 18. Or 28. Theo James is in his early 30s and I don’t care how attractive he is (and he is) he cannot pass for a teenager. NOPE. Nor can Shailene. Nor can she pass as a legit actress but that’s a whole different story 😉

      And you are welcome! I’ll be there for movie 4, popcorn in tow, ready to make you glad you didn’t waste the money 😀

      • The absolute, utter worst! And huh, I know he’s attractive (though TBH, not my type at all), but he could NOT pass for 18. At all. And I am almost 18 so I think I’m a teeny bit qualify to state that. Sigh. Oh well, not much we can do about it now. And ugh, yeah, Shailene isn’t much better. She was okay in TFIOS, but not a star, and definitely shouldn’t be the star of such an iconic film series (or what could have been…).

        And thanks for this. We all owe you one! 😉

  20. I’m curious about the Allegiant movie, but simultaneously afraid of it, as in I-don’t-want-to-touch-it-with-a-ten-foot-pole. The Insurgent movie was horrifyingly awful (which I found shocking, because I thought the first movie was great), and the ending wasn’t set up right for Allegiant. Also, Allegiant was my favorite book of the whole series…

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