A Guide to Epic Book Hoarding

discIf you’ve been around the bookish community long enough, I am sure you’ve seen pictures of some pretty impressive libraries and book collections along the way. You’ve probably even thought “wow, I would love to have such a lovely collection!”, but maybe you just aren’t sure how to start. You’re in luck, because I am about four paperbacks shy of a reality show special on hoarding, and I am here to tell you how to get yourself into proper book hoarding territory. And, as a bonus, a quiz to see if maybe you are already there.

You’ve read the e-book? You still need a physical copy!

Maybe you loved it… or kind of liked it… or sort of hated it, but it has a pretty cover. Whatever the case, even though you have read said book, and still own said book in ebook format, it simply isn’t enough. You’d better buy it in physical form just in case. Maybe the hardcover and the paperback, just to be sure you have all your bases covered.tumblr_lkx0ax8z6A1qj4bm6o1_500

You need all the editions.

No reason to stop at hardcover and paperback, you are going to need any and all editions of this book! Movie tie-in? Buy it. Limited edition? Better overnight it just in case. Foreign editions? Grab them all, language be damned! If you can find someone with an ARC, you’ll probably need that too.

Never leave a book sale empty handed.

Surely there’s something you need! What about that lonely book in the corner, the one about the Korean War’s effect on unicorns in the middle east? Better grab it, it’s only $2.99! Don’t worry about the 1.7 rating on Goodreads, it was probably a fluke.loser_shopping

If there’s a Kindle Daily Deal, you should probably buy it.

See, we don’t just want to hoard physically, you want to hoard electronically too! So sign up for all the emails about ebook deals, make sure you are on Twitter to catch the best ones, and as long as it is less than $4, you will need to buy it, no matter what.

If someone wants to borrow a book… Just Say No.

Nancy Reagan would have wanted it that way, after all. So what do you do if someone wants to borrow one of your lovelies? There are options!

  • Buy them their own copy! It’s nice, and you’re bringing your friend into your new hobby of hoarding!
  • Pretend you didn’t hear the question. Hopefully they won’t ask again.
  • Tell them you’d love to, but you’re moving to Uzbekistan next week, and you need to pack it. Plan on never seeing them again.
  • Scream “NO!” and run away. You weren’t that close to Aunt Susan anyway, were you?Friends-Joey-Pushes-Ross-Coffee

Even if you know you aren’t going to read a book, you should probably hang onto it.

What if one day, you change your mind? Or the apocalypse comes, and the only books you will ever get to read are the ones already in your possession? This is a serious threat, and you can’t just give your books away without considering the dire possibilities. You might think now that you’ll never need a reread of City of Bones, but how can you really be sure?jennifer-lawrence-maybe

Besides, what if your future or current offspring may want to read them?

Clearly, they are not going to want whatever books are current and interesting to them at that moment, they are going to want ten of your old copies of Paper Towns, because, obviously. (You might want to refer to the “Just Say No” portion on how to handle grabby offspring.)anigif_optimized-3006-1430414044-19

If everyone else loves it, you had better get a few copies.

Sure, that book about vampires wasn’t on your radar because you hate vampires, but that amazing author who everyone loves wrote it, so you might as well pre order it too, since everyone else will. Your library cannot be the only one missing Totally Hyped Random Book.scrubs

When TLC finally calls to film their special, do not oblige.

Listen, those people from TLC are going to do two things: One, they will announce your victorious book hoarding abilities; and two, they will try to get you to get rid of books! They’ll cite ridiculous reasons such as “board of health” and “sanitary purposes” and “fire hazard”, but ignore these buzz words, and ignore TLC. They don’t know your life. Bask in the glory that you have, in fact, become the ultimate of book hoarders. Your day has arrived!

so-many-books-gif

So, do you think you are a book hoarder? What did the quiz tell you? Did you believe it, or are you in denial?

Posted May 7, 2015 by Shannon @ It Starts at Midnight in Discussion, Discussion Challenge / 53 Comments


53 responses to “A Guide to Epic Book Hoarding

  1. I am not a book hoarder. I almost wish I could be, but finances do not allow for that. Plus, my Miguel keeps careful watch at my physical book collection. Books are way too heavy and we will be moving, again, soon. I am a bit envious of anyone with a library in their home. Someday….

    • Oh, I wish I had a library too! Basically, it has just taken over my room. And finances are such a struggle. I wish I had ALL the money for books, but alas, I do not. I barely have ALL the money for the mortgage 😉 I feel your pain!

  2. I’m a recovering hoarder. I used to do most if not all of those things, but I’ve since stopped myself. This no book buying challenge is really helpful treatment.

    • I am really, really impressed! I must admit, I HAVE been getting better- not a single book did I buy this week! Actually, I only bought one all of April, so not bad! But I have a few pre orders coming which will throw it all back into hoarder status, I’m sure 😉 I tried a ban, but it almost made me want to buy MORE, so I think just trying hard to limit is a good step!

  3. Hey, this is an epic epic book hoarding post. 😉 I am getting better at lending books (I even let amber keep the ones I’m giving her, even if they are DNF’s, it counts), she asked if I wanted them back the other day and I was…must.resist.say.no. Also, I’m finally seeing my floor again! I forgot it was blue…though, that’s just down to can’t be bothered to sort my shelves out, rather than book hoarding.

    Yes, quiz time!

    Damn, so close, yet so far away…I should be happy about that, shouldn’t I? But I’m not. I WANT TO BE AN EPIC BOOK HOARDER. So I’m going to work on that, first things first, those new set of The Hunger Games, I totally have an excuse now. *cough*

    • Good for you! I am impressed. DNFs totally count! I hang on to my DNFs, swearing that maybe one day I will read them (I will not). Yes, you should be happy about being not quite a hoarder. Because seriously, it is BAD for the bank account. Though, since you gave some books to Amber, you totally deserve the fun Hunger Games editions 😉

  4. I’m… halfway to book hoarder. According to the quiz 😉 And I actually have to agree. I’ve been a bit better about my hoarding ways lately, but I still have my eyes on the UK editions of VE Schwab’s books and the Throne of Glass series. BECAUSE BEAUTIFUL BOOKS ARE BEAUTIFUL.

    • I think you have to be pretty bad to be a full blown hoarder, which I obviously am. And I have a problem, because I HAVE the UK edition of ADSOM, but I LOOOOOVE the US cover of the sequel, so now what? Do I buy the US edition of ADSOM? Buy ALL the editions of ALL the books?! I don’t know! I also have the ToG UK edition, but the US of CoM and HoF. What is a girl to do!?

      I will admit, I HAVE gotten better but… that’s really only because I have no money. If I won the lottery or something, you’d never hear from me again because I’d be trapped under a literal mountain of books.

  5. The quiz says I am an epic hoarder. I think my main problem is that I never throw or give books away. Even if I probably will never read the book again i still can’t brign myself to do them away. I actually don’t own multiple copies of most, there are a few book for which I got an e-galley or e-book and own the paperback, but only 2 or 3, that’s it. And 2 of those are because I won them in a giveaway, else I wouldn’t have gotten them. I do have a hard time lending out books and hardly ever do so, unless I didn’t care much for the book, lol. Great post!

    • I am the same way, I cannot get rid of books AT ALL. That is probably my biggest problem as well, because I know I am not going to read the book, and I SHOULD send it to a better home but…. I can’t do it! I have gotten rid of a small, small number but… it should be more!

  6. I feel like I am basically the only blogger on the planet that isn’t a hoarder. I just 100% do not have the space. I’ve definitely hung on to books I’ll probably never get to because I’m like “WHAT IF ONE DAY I DO” but I don’t have multiple editions of anything besides a few ARC vs hardcovers. I really need to start taking more advantage of the library instead of buying stuff I want to read too haha.

    This post made me laugh so hard, Shannon. Especially the TLC part!

  7. This is legitimately the best post I’ve seen this week. Definitely adding it to our weekly wrap up! AND APPARENTLY I’M AN EPIC BOOK HOARDER, SO YAY ME! *happy dance* Although I’m often broke so I usually only have one or two copies of my favorite books. 😉 I don’t like giving my books away though. THEY’RE MINE.

  8. Bahahaha. This is funny. I do not consider myself a book hoarder. I will say that if I own an ebook version of a book and I LOVE it, then I will probably get a physical copy. I do that mainly so that I will have awesome stuff to read if the power goes out or in case of an apocalypse. Yes, I am scared that I will have nothing to read in the event of an apocalypse. Ha

  9. If people weren’t epic book hoarders before, they will be after reading your amazing post xD I’m not one though, I mainly read ebooks now and only books that have really good reviews from bloggers I trust. I usually buy the physical copy afterwards if I loved the ebook as well. I hate lending my copies out though!

  10. I haven’t tried telling people I’m moving to Uzbekistan before. That might work. I apparently am not a hoarder at all, which is true because I do only have one copy of any book (literally any) and I’m too poor to buy every single book EVER. But even with “careful” (my mum disagrees, naturally) spending, I’ve got a pretty huge bookcase and a pretty thin wallet. This is why I need book bloggers to tell me which books to buy before chocolate.

    • Hahhaha I love it! I too am broke, and I HAVE been good lately at not buying ALL the books, but I will admit, it’s tempting! I have been limiting myself, and even though I got a giftcard to treat myself with, I am so afraid to open that can of worms… because what if I can’t stop!?

  11. What a fun post! According to the quiz, I’m an Epic Hoarder! A little surprised because I don’t own very many duplicate copies, even of my favorites. Granted, I haven’t seen my floor or tabletops in years, but that’s beside the point! 😉

  12. I really had to laugh at the hoarding for the (hypothetical) benefit of the next generation! I catch myself worrying about which books my daughter and her husband might save or read “one day.” Also brilliant to spot the new e-book hoarding trap, and all the rationalization that goes with it. I just cancelled my BookBub notifications because of the daily temptation!

    • I haven’t given away my The Mortal Instruments OR Caster Chronicles series on the off chance that my daughter will read them one day. Which is extra silly, because they are all on BookOutlet for like, $3 hahhah.

      GOOD IDEA- I am seriously thinking of canceling my BookBub (and all the others like it!) for the same reason- PLUS, more often than not, I don’t actually want the book in question anyway!

  13. Gif game ON POINT! That Another scene will NEVER get old, there’s always space for a Mean Girls GIF, and I love the last gif with the dancing through books. 😀

    This post is HILARIOUS. 😀 😀 According to your quiz I DON’T EVEN READ. This is CLEARLY wrong. (Though at the moment I have sadly little time – I’m trying to compensate with audiobooks.) I do actually have A LOT of books, because I usually buy the ones I read (and tons of random classics because they’re SUCH a great deal and OF COURSE I’ll get around to reading them sometime.) I do stop just short of buying physical copies of ebooks, but it BUGS me. I said I only own one copy of favorite books, because geeeenerally I do, but I do have German, English and French copies of random Harry Potter books, because apparently I thought I’d have time and motivation to read 500 pages in French. Yeah right. I didn’t count that though, because clearly the different language is a valid reason to buy another copy. Right? RIGHT? 😀 And I DO avoid libraries, because I DID collect ALL the fees when I went frequently. It’s actually cheaper for me to buy the books instead. :’D (Or at least that’s what I tell myself.)

    • Why thank you! 😀 This makes me realize how desperately I need The Hunger Games in other languages. Why couldn’t I have read them BEFORE I went to Europe? (The answer, in part: They weren’t even released then.) I don’t even want to read them, which is good, because I can’t speak those languages. I mean, if I had a Spanish copy, I would get the gist, maybe. French… a word or two. German… Katniss. I would know Katniss. Russian would have been the best though, because I don’t even think I could figure out Katniss, and now I am the sads. Or Moroccan! WHY do I not own them? Is that even a thing? WHo cares!

  14. I got Hoarding Be Damned! I just don’t get the buying of books, CDs, or DVDs. Think of what you can do with all that extra money! Did you know the average smoker spends enough $ on cigarettes each year to cover the cost of 2 people flying somewhere and staying in a decent hotel for a week? I am doing the Snagged at the Library Challenge on GR, and many of the people are big book buyers/hoarders and are keeping track of what they save each month on our discussion board. It’s amazing!
    Seriously though, we all have our things we hoard or ways we spend money; unless it’s hurting someone else, who cares?

    • Impressive! And WHOA. That is a LOT of money to spend on something that will basically kill you. At least my books won’t kill me? Unless I land in a pile underneath them, which, let’s be honest, is a real possibility 😉

      It’s SO true! I mean, yes, I DO have a book buying problem, BUT at least it isn’t heroin or something, right? And it makes me happy, so… eh. Though the vacation WOULD make me happier, likely… something for me to think about!

  15. I was close to being a book hoarder! Hahahaha. Unfortunately, finances don’t allow me to hoard. I only own one copy of each book and I even sell a book after reading it if it pissed me off or if I didn’t like it that much. However, I have a local bookstore who have 80% off sales and that’s when I hoard! 😀

  16. Haha this is too funny. I don’t think I’m an epic book hoarder because I’m WAY too OCD about my TBR – I don’t think having books that are just gonna sit on my Kindle or shelves and not read them.. drives me crazy. So even if there’s a good deal, I won’t buy it unless I know I’ll read it.
    But I definitely don’t lend out my books unless they are ARCs… that’s a huge no haha.

    • I am impressed. You are going to have to teach me your ways, because it sounds a lot simpler to be like you, than to have over 500 books on your TBR that you OWN and will maybe never even read. Seriously, you should probably run a class for all the confirmed hoarders 😉

  17. Apparently I’m close to being a book hoarder. I’m not – my love of neatness overrules my love of clutter. This was a really fun post though – thank you for making me giggle!
    Beth x

  18. Besides, what if your future or current offspring may want to read them?

    I’M SO GUILTY OF THIS. I don’t even have offspring, or any real wish to obtain offspring, and yet I have a whole hoard of children’s books I’m saving for just such an occasion.

    • If it helps, I saved EVERY book I had as a child for offspring that I swore I didn’t want and… well, let’s just say, those Berenstain Bears books did NOT go to waste, my daughter is obsessed 😉 So it’s a legitimate hoarding excuse 😀

  19. The quizz tells me as a result : “Do you even read ?” HA ! I work in a library and have 900+ e-books, but I don’t hoard, that’s true ^^

  20. Looks like I’m an Epic Hoarder. That’s not surprising. I have somewhere between 700-800 physical books and tons of ebooks as well. I don’t go in for the extra copies and additions, but I do like to own physical copies of any ebooks that I liked and I don’t like to get rid of a book if I haven’t read it yet or think I might want to read it again. I’m THIS close to collecting books for my future kids, even though I’m not even sure I want kids…

  21. I am a huge book hoarder, but as I say to my mother who is trying to get my to buy less books – I am simply a book collector xD I never have been seen to leave a book sale empty handed. Basically nearly all the books I own were super cheap with a bargain, bought with giftcards or were gifts, or were won/sent for review. I have a huge collection and have managed to save a lot of money as well!

    Oh, and if I have read the ebook and loved it or liked it well enough I usually go on to buying the physical copy. (Fancy covers are always a must have too!) I have a long list of ebooks I have read and need physical copies of!

    Just discovered your blog so I am going to follow you on Bloglovin and Goodreads right now 🙂

  22. I used to be the BEST at not hoarding books. Like, I was the only person in the book blogosphere who didn’t hoard books (unless you count my kids’ books, which you totally aren’t allowed to, because their reading is for the betterment of their education and for the future of America). So I was REALLY good. And then I got more bookshelves. Something about all those empty shelves just makes it harder to part with books. And easier to get them. My husband is cursing himself for getting me what I wanted for Christmas!

  23. Love this! What a great post. And I’m pretty sure I’d slam the door in TLC’s face if they tried to get between me and my book hoard. 😉

    Loved “Never leave a book sale empty handed.” because it’s so true! And “If someone wants to borrow a book… Just Say No.” because I have such a hard time loaning books (I really only loan to my BFF and my sister because I know I’ll get them back in good condition).

Leave a Reply