It’s finally time for the prequel backdoor pilot, Anaconda!! I quite enjoyed it and really hope the series gets picked up, because I will 100% be watching it! That said, this is going to be a weird one to recap because the characters are all new, and I am not completely sure how to tackle it. This will likely be shorter than usual, but I’ll do my best!
Just a reminder, spoilers galore!! Like ALL the spoilers- proceed with caution!
Bill is going to go ahead and give our faves a bedtime story set in a fairly timely hellscape (did you know that Jason predicts the future? He does, it’s true, I don’t make the rules) to explain why he’s on Bardo, and why he cares so much about the Flame. We’ll get to that part more later, but we open with Callie and her best bud Lucy getting pretty banged up by… wait for it…. police in riot gear attacking peaceful protesters (seriously, I told you). Callie’s mom pops in to say dear ol’ dad is on the holo (clearly tech that we need) but Callie isn’t exactly in the mood. And you know why? Cause “Dad” is Bill Cadogan and frankly I’d hang up on him too.
I mean, if your ex-wife thinks you’re kidding about the end of the world, you’re probably a real asshole.
But whoops, we have an errant bestie who hasn’t reached Level 12 status and so there’s no room for her at the inn. Look, I do not fully blame Callie here. She’s shell-shocked and isn’t fully aware of what is even going down. And I want to be mad at Grace, but I also know that she was right that knocking Lucy out was the most merciful. So who are we really going to be mad at? Bill Fucking Cadogan, who couldn’t even make space in a doomsday bunker for his daughter’s closest pal. Anyway, time to get to the chopper.
This just in: No good news.
Bunkerside, Callie catches up with her brother, Reese, who seems to be Dad’s right-hand-man. Which must mean we’re going to be salty with him in the next few minutes. Already, people are panicking about loved ones left beyond the bunker doors, and what their futures inside the bunker will look like. But Bill is totally calm because he has a secret stolen artifact hanging out in his office! Unfortunately for Bill, he hasn’t a clue how to make it take him to new worlds.
Two years pass, presumably with Bill screaming at the Stone and Reese’s head growing a few sizes larger, and some of the gang heads out to scavenge. That might be super depressing, but looks like Callie got some good deals at the mall. Anyway, we know what happens next- Becca flies on down from just killing a few more folks (she didn’t mean it okay?) on Polaris, and steps out of the wreckage.
Everyone’s favorite Savior-Slash-Destroyer of Worlds.
Callie’s like a kid on Christmas Day, meeting her childhood (and current, let’s be real) hero. Becca is all set to make everyone a Nightblood and get the hell out of this bunker, but Bill has other plans, especially once he finds out that Becca can “hear” the Stone. Bill’s on the biggest power trip since Sheidheda and wants to be sure he is the savior of mankind, so when Becca takes a little side trip through the Stone, he’s none too pleased.
“Judgement Day” just means that Billy sees an opportunity for a bigass pitcher of Kool-Aid.
She begs him to not use the Stone. She found some sort of… situation on the other side- this trip was white, not green, and it didn’t lead to Bardo, but some sort of “Judgement Day”. Well, don’t like the sound of that! But Bill still refuses, and tells Becca that if she doesn’t tell him the code to get back to Judgement Day (no seriously, who in their right mind would be hankering for that trip?) he’s going to lock her up.
An egomaniacal fool who is apt to wipe out humanity, sounds familiar.
Only that isn’t good enough, so he’s gonna kill her for the info on the Flame. Cool, cool, sounds legit. Dude, if she is willing to die so you don’t go there… maybe don’t fucking go there. So he burns her at the stake, which is a perfectly reasonable way to execute a genius who just doesn’t want you to make terrible life choices.
How very dare you, William.
Reese goes along with it, and takes it a step further, procuring the Flame from Becca’s corpse. But Callie is done with this. She stages a coup, and I am proud. She challenges Reese to… Idk a prequel to a Wonkru gladiator battle and he is so smug. He thinks she’s not as strong as him or some such nonsense.
But she’s definitely smarter.
I guess no one ever told Reese not to bring a knife to a gun fight, and fool gets shot. I feel zero percent bad for him, especially since she only wounded him. She grabs the flame and Tree Crew (yes, this is what they have dubbed themselves, even pre-bombs though they don’t say exactly why, assuming an environmental thing) heads for the door. They’re all Nightbloods so they’ll be okay, but they have to get out. And guess who doesn’t want any of his flock to leave?
Rhymes with Swill…
Grace goes for the door and uses her body to close it so they can open the airlock. That’s my girl! I adore her. Know who doesn’t so much? Her ex-husband. So he shoves her (sans nightblood, even though there was totally time for Callie to have injected her but that’s another story) out the door. I mean good, she just has to find Callie and get all Natblida-ed up. Reese has the wherewithal to appear a little forlorn, but he’s still gonna try to find Callie and hijack the Flame, so I guess he still hasn’t learned his lesson. And then the Shepherd guides his flock to Bardo. Because of course he does.
Callie and what I suppose becomes Trikru head out into the great unknown, and there’s an awesome song, Into the Black by Chromatics playing, so I just made a clip so you can listen and see the end of the world!
Back on Bardo
First, the gang must gain control of the room, and figure out what’s happening. Raven is about to crack after hearing the news about Bellamy. Clarke can tell, but she reminds Raven that they have to do this for Bellamy, and their family. It’s a sad moment, or it would be if Bellamy was actually dead.
Clarke is confused to see Cadogan, because she’s only seen him via a Jaha YouTube video like 200 years ago. Cryo is for everyone, Clarke. She’s extra shocked to hear him understanding her and Niylah’s Trig conversation.
Ah, a more innocent time when I didn’t totally abhor this man and was just mildly salty about the eavesdropping.
He then informs them that this is great news, Callie must have survived because her language did! Interesting that Callie made up Trig, is it not? Regardless, Clarke makes a big show of telling him that indeed, Calliope is “in here” which is cute considering she isn’t, but she’s clearly playing up Gabriel’s unspoken suggestion. But then she tells him just kidding this isn’t a thing.
And look, I do not blame her at all here. Cadogan hasn’t exactly been helpful to Earthkru like, ever. He killed Becca, he is a douchey cult leader, and he clearly did his entire family dirty. And unbeknownst to Clarke & Co, he is trying to open some kind of plane that Becca unequivocally begged him not to. So it’s a good call. Only when Clarke asks for her friends…
Brainwashed soldiers, or really awesome at pretending to be?
- People are mad about the “best friend” line but I think it was perfect. I mean. That is what Bellamy is to Clarke, right? What’s she gonna say? “The dude who I am secretly in love with who is also secretly in love with me maybe but is now dead and also has this girlfriend that you probably are holding captive”? No no, “best friend” is good.
- Are Echo, Octavia, and Diyoza brainwashed and part of the Disciples for realsies?? Just acting and putting on a good show? Why is Gabriel seemingly himself? Is it cause they need his mind intact? I have a million questions.
- Speaking of those badasses, where the hell is Hope? Is it because no one there knows Hope exists? You’d think Gabriel would be worried, but okay 🤷♀️
- Gabriel over here proving he’s still on Team Clarke makes my heart happy. Our dude is over here giving Clarke hints about “her” implant, and following along with “Caliope is in here”, she sure is William, Sir! Love it. He also doesn’t even think about leaving when Bill tells his people to go, he stays with Clarke & Co. Gabriel’s people. I swoon.
- Kill Bill, Justice for Becca, right? Homie has to go. You can’t just kill Becca Franko and get away with it. You. Cannot. Also, you were very rude to your ex-wife who I am a big fan of, and Callie who I am a big fan of, and you gave Anders the power to abuse our friends just… Bill bye.
- So many mixed feelings on Callie inventing Trig. Because on one hand, it’s kind of cute. On the other… I had always figured it was a way for the clans to talk without people like Mt Weather understanding what they were saying, so it was kind of disappointing that it came from one person? (I discussed it more in depth with Beth on Twitter and I think she is madder than me hah.)
- Where’d Bill move the Stone to? It can’t still be in the bunker, right? Octavia may have been a little bloodthirsty but I don’t think she and 1200 other folks would have overlooked a large, glowing stone. I figure, Bill knew that Callie and Grace (now his “enemies” 🙄) knew where it was, and he wouldn’t have wanted to risk them getting hold of it (especially since Callie has the Flame). Maybe we’ll see when we get to Earth. Where Bellamy is. (Was I able to Beetlejuice it into existence yet?)
- Miller’s response to Bellamy’s “death” may have hurt me the most tbh. I mean sure Clarke and Raven are upset and understandably so, but Jarod really delivered on Miller’s response, his voice cracking, the shock and sadness in his eyes. I teared up watching him.
Episode 7×09: The Flock
Apparently, there’s to be a break after this one. I am not thrilled? But if it drags out the season, I’m down. Also I don’t have a choice.
- I don’t like Indra’s case of the sads. She’s gonna think Gaia is dead, but sweetie she’s fine, she’s just filming Sabrina! This is going to be tough, Sad Indra breaks my damn heart.
- Where are the ladies? New planet? Some weird outpost? Anders’ mancave? Is this all going to be flashback or are we gonna see some new junk?
- Is it just gonna be Sanctum and whatever is happening in Past-Tense Bardo? Or are they hiding crap because spoilers? I really need Bellamy to come back now, and maybe someone can let us know where Gaia’s been thrown? (::Cough:: with Orlando.)