Just a reminder, spoilers galore!!
Ah, The Tinder Box. I have such mixed feelings about you, as an episode. This was basically me for 43 minutes: Anxious… Anxious…Anxious… Anxious… “Oh. That’s it?” I’m scared because our casualties so far have been Nyko, a fake chip, the Ark, and maybe Roan’s dignity. But no MAIN CHARACTERS. I’m so terrified.
Octavia Rides Again
Her survival is unsurprising, since we knew that she warned Arkadia about Azgeda coming. But of course, we didn’t know if she was actually going to be safe. Then she takes a spill off Helios (tbh, I wondered how she had stayed up there so long to begin with) and along strolls someone into the woods to pick her up. Because apparently, there is quite a significant flow of traffic in the random-ass woods that lead from “edge of cliff” to Arkadia. I have to assume she was super close to home, otherwise why/how would Ilian have ever found her?
Why did no one question this? Like, Ilian just happened to be heading for a stroll outside of Arkadia? Which we know to be a full day’s ride from Polis, where he was last seen, and who knows the hell how far from Trishanakru’s home base. We’ll get to that later.
Anyway, Octavia is home, and she tells Clarke about Azgeda coming. And then O gets whisked away to surgery, because of course. Then Clarke is able to meet with Miller’s Dad (YAY for more Mr. Miller) to devise a strategy for dealing with this, since no one can locate Kane. Miller’s Dad wants an attack, but Clarke explains that maybe she can figure out what the hell happened, since last she heard, they were allies.
Monty agrees, but using Pike’s logic, which Harper promptly calls him out for. Never change, Harper.
The Tinder Box
Ugh, so this ends up just being a pissing contest between Roan and Clarke. She’s like “boom, bitch, element of surprise?” And he fires back with “I have your husband and stepdad”. So they’re at an impasse, obviously. Echo wants war, because of course she does. I think she has some serious problems, and maybe a death wish. And guess who else has a death wish? That’s right, folks, Riley! Because of course he does. Even though Roan had shit-all to do with him being kept prisoner, he attended the Charles Pike School of Grounder Relations®, and wants to just kill whoever the hell he wants, consequences be damned.
Monty tries to talk him down, with a little speech about how this is a Tinder Box. Hence the title. It works. Monty is being reasonable, and he thinks he gets through to Riley.
Only Monty forgot that Riley gives zero fucks about everyone else’s safety. Rookie mistake.
Only since everyone in the guard was born yesterday, they let Riley be stationed alone with a loaded weapon on his enemies. He gets the slip on some guy named Costa (who I approve of, more of him please, only maybe don’t trust this rando next time), and Monty charges in to negotiate. This is awesome. We can also have more ballsy Monty ANY DAY, thank you. I love it. He and Bellamy convince Echo to warn Roan, and Monty becomes the new hostage, and Bellamy goes for a walk in the forest with Echo. Who up until thirty seconds before, he thought killed his sister. Who he would literally die for. Just saying.
Sidenote though, when Bellamy figured out that O is alive, my heart did a little dance. His eyes lit up, it was adorable and magical.
Raven in the Sky with Nightblood
Please be singing to the tune of The Beatles’ Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds right now with me. If not, I am not sure we can all be friends anymore.
We open at Becca’s lab with Abby and Jackson fighting because they have no freaking clue how to recreate Nightblood. Luna is “sleeping”, apparently with Murphy, Emori, Miller, and probably Jasper and Jaha who are MIA this episode. Nap time at the lab, y’all! Raven, meanwhile, is hallucinating that she is floating in zero G. That’s got to be healthy. Until she starts seizing, and Abby and Jackson run to her, and Abby could not be sweeter and more loving and caring and I have a feeling their relationship is going to kill me when one or both of them inevitably die.
I’ll just be over here weeping if you need me.
But they’re pretty impressed that Raven knows how to make Nightblood. Admittedly, less impressed when they realize they can’t replicate Zero G conditions. But then back to impressed when Raven is like “BOOM, Spaceship!” and out pops a spaceship with some weird Star Wars-esque music in the background. Hokey as fuck, but whatever. Raven is excited to go back into space, but Abby has some news.
I mean, she does have a point. She’d be equally dead if she did nothing, so…
Jackson, the voice of reason, is like “hold up Abby, you had the EMP used on you too…” and Abby is like “nah, can’t hear you” with her fingers in her ears. #Reasonable. Raven is basically saying she’s down with dying if she needs to, she won’t let her people die, especially if she will die anyway. Which is really just good sense, let’s be real. And then, Abby who is still visiting the State of Denial, sees some fun stuff.
Wow, Raven got a much more pleasant chat with ALIE, no?
Who Invited Riley to This Show?
Okay, so I admit, this Riley business had me puzzled. But then I read Meg @ Cuddlebuggery’s recap. And guys. She explains it all. Scroll down to “The Riley Issue” (I mean, read the whole thing, it’s a good recap, but for our purposes, scroll down). See, he isn’t supposed to BE HERE. I knew he didn’t make any sense. ::Grumbles:: It was like… “Farm Station and blond hair, sure, he’ll do!”. No no no. Holly said, in reaction to this new information- “Like Meg said, it doesn’t work because we have no attachment to him”. Exactly. I just yelled at my TV “come on Monty, just shoot him already!” because I give zero fucks if he lives or dies. In fact, maybe death is the better option. Because then I can be done with him.
Now, I don’t know what to make of Bryan. The show he is on (called Beyond) has just been renewed for a second season so… I can’t imagine that he is long for this show. But think about it- how much more EPIC would that scene have been if it had been MILLER’S DAD versus MILLER’S BOYFRIEND with MILLER caught in the middle? Only about a million times, is the answer. Also, it would have made infinitely more sense for BRYAN to be trusted to be alone with a weapon than RILEY. Even the damn characters joke about it.
“Ain’t We a Pair?”
On one hand, I like that Clarke and Roan made up again. On the other… it’s getting old, is it not? He’s like a middle school girl who can’t decide if he wants Echo to be his BFF or if he wants Clarke to. Which one will he invite to the slumber party? Biting my nails here, guys. Who will get the honor of playing Barbies with Roan? 🤔
Anyway, they venture off to their cave, dodging Riley bullets, unbeknownst to them, and come up with a new plan. Why not share the Ark? Because clearly, no one will mind losing 50 slots, they were so easygoing when they found out there were only 100. 🙄
It’ll be fine, because they’re blood brothers now. Or something.
I also love how Roan is like “I am the King, I do what I want”. Except no, Roan, you don’t. You do what Echo wants, what Clarke wants, even what your mom wants by insisting on wearing that ridiculous crown, and I have no reason to believe that your people aren’t going to call bullshit on this alliance just as much as Skaikru will to Clarke. Even though they’ll literally be fighting over a pile of ashes, but I digress. None of these assholes are reasonable so I expect nothing less than ridiculousness.
The Other Tinder Box (aka, Arkadia)
Ilian, you stupid bastard. Look. I don’t hate Ilian. In fact, I still have hopes that he can be Miller’s new boyfriend because that will make him not hate Skaikru, and also, I like him more than Bryan, which is probably saying a lot. Wait, that isn’t what this section is about, sorry.
I actually don’t dislike Ilian as a character, but I dislike his actions/plot. He waltzes into Arkadia, which I do understand since he had O. Obviously, they’d have let him in. And I even get him being able to slip away in all the mayhem, I do. But what I don’t understand is why the hell he even wanted to blow up their home to begin with? What does that solve? I know he hates all technology but come on, dude. Bigger fish.
I do like that he didn’t want anyone to die. In fact, he kind of straight up risked his life to save O and Niylah, even though he was the reason their lives were in jeopardy anyway.
And um, how is he not dead, speaking of? Why did Roan, Echo, Kane, Bellamy, Miller’s Dad, Clarke, WHOEVER THE HELL not kill him when he came strolling out of there and everyone was like “ILIAN DID IT”?
Instead, they just stood by, dumbfounded, and watched their home (and backup for survival) go up in flames. The look Echo and Roan exchange is freaking priceless.
The best “oh shit” faces of the night.
And the Blake sibling plus Clarke reunion? The only reason I didn’t throw shit at my TV at that point. I mean, what about all their stuff? What about Lincoln’s notebook and Jasper’s goggles? Guys, I am attached to these props! Come on!
Forgiveness. Can you imagine? Sing it with me…
My HEART 😭 😍
We Will Rise
DAMN YOU, WEEK OFF. No one asked for this. Alas, it gives my buddies Erica, Holly, and I some time to get our collective shit together and actually chat. Not just me screen-shooting my DMs from my phone. Well fine, maybe I will still do that, but it will be an actual chat.
Also, I feel like the “missing” flame is going to come back into play soon, especially with a bunch of Nightbloods running around (if it comes to that). I just hope that it isn’t another excuse for a fight between Clarke and Roan, especially since it was O who let Gaia and the flame go. Which also was stupid, but that is an issue for another time.